🔗 Share this article That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year. Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob? All’s Fair ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’ But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist. The Supercomputer Drama Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost. The Gangster Drama Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back. Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series. The Inheritance It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it. The Lena Dunham Romcom How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not good enough to be ‘uneven’. Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely. Prime Target We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense. The Bonnie Blue Documentary This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.